Transformation

by Virag Gulyas

It’s been quite a long period of time;
since I started to feel a certain vibration inside.

A certain vibration that did not leave but came closer with firm vehemence.
With rapid pace she approached until her closeness started to smother me.
I did not know her.
I tried to block her.
I wanted to ignore her.
… I was afraid of her.

But She did not give up;
She came with further stimulus.

IT HAS BEGUN…

Hours passed.
Mornings came, nights arrived.
And I was just lying without able to move.

Tears in my eyes. Endlessly.
Tears on my face. Ceaselessly.

Days passed.
Mornings came, nights arrived.
And I was just lying without able to feel.

Voices in my mind. Persistently.
Voices on my soul. Carelessly.

Months passed.
Mornings came, nights arrived.
And I was just lying without able to be alive.

IT HAS BEGUN…

The Sun that once triggered my lips for a smile lost her charm.
The Moon that once triggered my eyes for an honest shine lost his romance.

Emptiness. Faearfull emptiness.
The smell of passing away, the smell of death.

But the body runs, while the soul slowly dies.

Morning number 365.
And HE is still there. HE did not run away. HE kisses your forehead. HE holds your hands. HE does not let you go.
NO!
He fights with the ‘smell of your passing away, with smell of your death’. He hopes he can fight for you. He hopes he can fight instead of you. He hopes he can save you.

He looses. He cannot.

IT HAS BEGUN…

Afternoon number 521.
And HE is still there. HE did not run. HE kisses your forehead. HE holds your hands. HE does not let you go.
NO!
He fights with the ‘smell of your passing away, with smell of your death’. He hopes he can fight for you. He hopes he can fight instead of you. He hopes he can save you.

He looses. He cannot.

IT HAS BEGUN…

Night number 676.
And HE is still there. HE did not run. HE kisses your forehead. HE holds your hands. HE does not let you go.
NO!
He fights with the ‘smell of your passing away, with smell of your death’. He hopes he can fight for you. He hopes he can fight instead of you. He hopes he can save you.

He…
…You move. A tiny bit.
He…
…You feel. A tiny bit.
He…
…You live. A tiny bit.

IT HAS BEGUN…

Your are not well yet.
But it has certianly begun.

Your transformation has begun.
Irreversibly.
Your transformation has begun.
Unstoppably
.

And HE smiles. HE trusts. HE loves.

He turned into the charm instead of the SUN.
He turned into the romance instead of the MOON.

Your life has begun to transform.
Your body ran.
Your soul died.

Sometimes, LIFE gives you a present so full and pleasingly wrapped that you just cannot keep up. You try, you want, but you are not ready yet. Your consciousness wants to reach out for it, but your unconsciousness is mesmerized. You feel confused.
You keep your body run, but you let your soul die. Actually, it dies without your approval. Nature is stronger than you. You can fight, you can try to control but what has to die will die.
Let you transformation begin.
It may lasts for days, weeks, months or years. You will loose track on time. And sometimes, you just want to give up.
But one morning you awake and you are never ever the same.
Your old Self dies and new Self is born.
Your are ready to go on. You are ready to open your heart newly.

Do not be afraid of the little deaths along your way. Every death is followed by rebirth. And every rebirth presents you with a new Life.
Die, even if it hurts and you get lost and you do not know when it ends. I promise you; all will be right by the end!

And You, Mr. HE – I will love you forever for helping my transformation and holding my hands all the way!

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5 thoughts on “Transformation

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