by Virag Gulyas
What if for one day you could be someone else?
Who would you be?
Would you wanna be a famous person or a young girl/guy in a hidden part of Africa?
Would you wanna be someone younger or older?
Would you wanna be someone you know from close or a total stranger?
The question not necessarily entails that you want to be someone else because you are not satisfied with yourself and your life.
But yes, you are right: evidently, it could lead towards that, too.
Let’s assume, though, that you are OK with yourself, you are OK with your life. Even-though, there is always a way for improvement, isn’t there?!
So, we have this assumption that for your age, for your given life stage, you are all good and satisfied. Why would then such a question come into your mind at all?
Why would you wanna change your life with somebody if all settled between you, yourself and your life?
And come on, don’t tell me you have never played with this thought – again: not with the thought coming from sort of healthy jealousy of ‘wishing to be Angelina Jolie or Brad Pitt’.
I am sure you played this game: ‘what might the women sitting beside me on the train think now’, ‘what might that little boy think of when he looks at sky’ and so on.
We are all curios, we all want to know what other people think or feel. We all want to assure ourselves that we are normal: yes-yes she has the same thoughts and same problems, I am good now. It makes us relaxed and at these times it feels nice to be the SAME, not being unique, not being special. Just being the SAME.
Sadly, this game cannot be put at practice – at least according to today’s innovations. If I am mistaken here, please, give me the information how is it possible!
Until then, let me tell you why this thought came to me today.
I am fine with my life (and no, it is not a Sugar Plum Fairytale) and I am fine with myself (and no, I am not perfect). I was sitting beside a person, who I ‘know’ for a few years now. The closest person to me, with whom I spent hours, day, years while sharing thoughts, feelings, desires. I look up to him, I admire him, I cherish him.
I am sure you can also think of someone around you, who you share a lot with, who you think you know in depth. But! Stop here for a moment!
Do you really know him/her? Do you really know how he sees you, the world or anything else? Do you really know how he perceives things you tell him/her? Or can you really understand what he thinks, feels, when you tell him/her certain things? …and the questions have no ending….
But I do not need to continue further for you to see my point and admit: I DO NOT KNOW this person!
I never will. I can only try; and this is the most I can do. But I will never ever be able to see or understand how or what he thinks or feels during his days, through out his life.
I am just assuming, guessing to my best.
Unfortunately, this is a risky game. Assuming, guessing can lead you to a ‘road to Hell’ (as Chris Rea would tell you).
You get comfortable, you convince yourself that this is enough, and the worst is that you make yourself believe that you actually know him. So you start assuming what he wants, what he will answer, how he will react. You actually, putting your LIFE on him through your assumptions. You assume this and that is good for him. I am not saying you are doing it consciously or mean it in a bad way. I am only saying if you are not facing the truth, you lose curiosity, you lose real caring, you lose the path to develop further.
You might think this whole is so unconcerned and this is how life it is.
I wouldn’t agree! I accept that this is how life is, but I am not accepting getting comfortable and I do not wish to pretend to myself that I know him or I know what is good for him. Since I have no idea….
Or rather, I only have an idea….
So, if I could wish, just for one day, who I wish to be, I would chose: HIM!
I wish to be him. I would like to see how he sees the world, or how he sees me. I would like to feel what he feels when I tell him a certain thing. I would like to know what is really behind his words. I would just want to KNOW HIM for real…. and to get rid of myself for a day. To get rid of my assumptions, my guessing…
I looked at his eyes deeply and wished to be him strongly. But it did not happen.
So I guess, I just need to live with the real set up and accept that there is a border I can never ever cross – (even if actually, I have a passport to his life). OK. I accept the challenge. It is nice to win from here. And by winning I mean to admit that I DO not know him and I never will, on the one side; but never ever give up trying my best to find an other layer from his truth every day, on the other side.
Until you care, you need to be honest, firtsly with yourself: you never know which of your sentence will stay in his cells forever, which of your look will leave a mark in his heart forever. So please, always remind yourself: you never really know anybody, you are just guessing….and that is just not enough.