I always thought it was normal. But I start to question it.
I was raised, taught, educated not to show pain, sorrow, problems. As a ballet student it is among the first lessons they teach you: “nobody is interested in your suffering”. So you go on, you dance if it rains, if it hurts, if it bleeds. You don’t stop for a moment. (If you stop, you stop forever).
So I was growing and developing with this rule; and by the end so closely that we became identical.
Now, that I am not a dancer anymore, I am reading quotes stating similar rules: always wear a smile, that drives your enemies crazy….always show your strength to others that makes them jealous…never break-down in front of people it does not serve you.
It made me think (maybe it was not only MY education): studying at the Dance Academy might have imposed this role on me stronger than it was imposed on you – yet wherever I look I see masks, whoever I talk to I feel half-truths.
We are all raised to wear the mask of perfection and decorate the truth. No wonder why every second person on the street is running up and down as a zombie, feeling frustrated by pure existence: ‘I am not as good as he is’ – ‘NO! I need to keep on smiling, because they cannot see I am hurt’ – ‘Here she comes, I need to show I am well….I am not giving this favor to her’…
We are all raised to live a life where everything is perfect. This is the only aim. This is the only objective. PERFECTION….yes, perfection, as cover(photo).
Perfect holidays, perfect girl/boyfriends, perfect family, perfect friends, perfect job, perfect home, perfect outlook.
Wow! This is quite a pressure, don’t you think?
Social media is an amazing tool. Amazing is all senses. But for now, I use it as ‘amazing in helping the demonstration of perfection’. You glance through your friends’ pictures and the little ‘devil’ in you wakes up instantly. You start to see all these perfections around you. You click and click and click and…. you start to feel alone. This full-fledged perfection starts to make you dizzy and feel somehow loosing reality. You see all of your friends’, or like-friends’, or stranger’s life as THE PERFECTION.
Unintentionally, the benchmark is there. You start to shrink. Even if until then you had the best day ever; not perfect, but you laughed, you were healthy, you had somebody to hold your hand and love you. Or just simply, you received a new day from LIFE. You would still start shrinking under the pressure of all that PERFECTION…
….simply, because you know, you are not perfect – You have a good life, but not perfect.
And the little ‘devil’ doesn’t stop triggering your ego…so you shrink further.
It is not jealousy here. It is something else. Remember? We are raised to wear the mask of perfection and decorate the truth…
Why are we so afraid to take off our masks and show who we really are? With our strength and weakness? With our happiness and pain?
When did society start outcast imperfection?
There is not one person in the Universe, who would not have a bad day occasionally. There is not one person in the Universe, who would not carry a smaller-bigger package along his journey.
Yet, we are so quick to judge. We are so quick to outcast. And yet, we are so aiming to show the opposite. According to the data shown to you, nobody has a bad day and nobody is carrying any sort of luggages (except a Louis Vuitton handbag…)
When did we lose the ability to be honest? Or rather to trust?
When did we start believing that we cannot show our bad moments if we want to succeed?
It is just so wrong. After years and years of listening that people should only see me smiling, not giving the favor to nobody to see me cry, I start to realize the opposite.
In this cold, lonely world the value of honesty is increasing exponentially. Everybody likes to feel that he/she is not alone with his/her ‘imperfection’.
Hence, my motto has changed towards something I feel more credible: a person, who is always smiling is the saddest among all.
What is the biggest irony in this whole? You believe in the perfect life of THE OTHER, you might even start longing after the same. Though, you forget one thing. One very important thing: you benchmark your imperfect REALity with their perfect UNREALITY.
– But once you get the chance to dig deeper, you need no more than a few minutes to see the true imperfection in the untrue perfection.
And reality hits you back: You start to feel lucky, you start to feel closer to REAL PERFECTION.
And here is the link: you were raised to hide all that is considered as ‘no-go’ in a successful life and then social media was invented: the PERFECT SOLUTION itself. You finally got it. A platform where PERFECTION is above all! Where one click makes everything just more perfect. Where nobody can see your imperfection and you can comfortingly continue with your rule of life: never show your REAL you to anybody, because they will miss use it.
I am not naive: yes, there are plenty of people who would do that. But (!) there are plenty of people who would not. I just did not have the eye for this part of the equation.
Now, I am entering a phase when I feel: the more my imperfection is known the happier I am. Remember, why I named this place as GIAGOTOS?
Exactly, for this reason…you always think the OTHER has everything: an easy, happy, PERFECT life. But I am not sure you want to try carrying his/her luggage for life…
And what happens if somebody sees you crying for an hour instead of smiling? What if somebody would see you fighting with a sickness instead of being perfectly fit? What if somebody would see you breaking-down by a bad news instead of pretending as if…?
I am serious.
Would you feel less? Would you feel worse?
I start to think NO … at least that somebody would see that you have feelings, you have battles, you have ups and downs, you are an imperfect human being…and so am I.
And just a hypothetical question for the closing: would not there be less jealousy, less frustration in this world if we would all stop pretending something that we are not and would instead admit we have days that lines up as LIFE – and this means smile and cry, health and sickness, success and bad experiences, hopes and losses…