Cherry picking – are you good at choice-making?

Welcome March, welcome Spring, welcome Pisces!

This month is ours. This month is mine. I was born in one late evening of March … I was not an easy arrival to this earth and perhaps my mum knew already then that my whole presence would not be easy either. 
I had a dream the other night: where I was a newborn baby, who was quickly washed by the nurses and then left alone on the side table. Nobody cared, nobody looked, nobody touched. I had a conscious mind and I was just staring at them and wandering why nobody cares about me. My mum was asleep for days and I was left there for days… – I did not want to be alone anymore. I regretted that I was born.  Then I woke up…

I am thinking a lot lately about controversial issues linked to one big question: 
Why do we regret things?

And here is what I mean: there is the maze, and endless options of beliefs, thoughts, schools that you can choose from to make your daily steps:

  •  you can believe that God guides your life;
  •  you can believe that your whole life is predestinated and written;
  •  you can believe that only end destination is written but you are free to choose how to arrive there;
  •  you can believe that you arrive with a mission and all your actions are serving that one and only purpose;
  •  you can believe that you have a vortex around you that already included all your wishes and desires and once you connect with it you receive the life you want;
  •  you can believe that you are attracting everything to yourself and hence you create your life;
  •  you can believe in your horoscope, your life number, your name number, your tarot cards, your…
  •  you can believe that this is not your first life and you are with to close a karma affairs
  • you can believe that your life is led by your genetics, your templates, your learnt rules
  • you can believe that your life should be led by your guts only;

I am sure that this list is far from being complete but it is already enough to draw a conclusions: all these options tell you the same thing: there is no bad choice since either it is given per sei or given through your belief and trust.

So how is it then that we are all frustrated by our choices, or even by making our choices. Why are we so paralyzed when looking at the junctions of our lives? Why are we so mesmerized by the task: MAKE YOUR CHOICE?!

I don’t know. Really don’t. But during my last trip to Israel something fleshed in front of me.
I was just starring at the sea and try to give my mind some peaceful seconds before giving it the hard task: to make my choices, – when something happened. No, it was not the big-bright- light sparkling out my of inner-Goddess but it was a line of thoughts that made me somehow regret that I am a 21st century generation or rather that I am part of this ‘spoiled’ generation.

Today we are exhaustingly overwhelmed. I cannot find a better combination of words for this. Exhaustingly overwhelmed by information, by competitions, by titles, by events, by impulses, by freedom and by choices. And I am clearly aware of the fact that most you would say it is a privilege that many cannot get even today – yet…

Is it really a privilege?

Is it really a privilege to travel until you don’t have roots anymore? Pursue a career until you forget what you really wanted? Possess things until you lose the ability to be happy for your possessions? Watch everybody’s life until you forget to create your own?

I met a woman in her 50s, who has been living all her life in the same mid-sized city in Israel. She has a degree as a pharmacologist and she is working in the exact same pharmacy for 30 years now. 
If I would ask now any of my friends from the modern-generation, he most probably would say: wow, how can she? How is she doing it? Isn’t it “boring”?

My first reaction was the same.
Until that moment: the moment when I realized that she is lucky. She is incredibly lucky.  She is not frustrated. She is HAPPY.  She is at peace. (Can I find somebody at peace from my generation?! – worrying)

Everybody has to make choices in life but it is not the same anymore. 
I am sure she faced with junctions in her life, maybe the same types as we do today: what to study, whom to marry, where to work. 
But there are serious differences:
 Today, we are making choices to under the pressure of social standards and requirements. Today, we are making choices to win un-advertised competitions. Today, we are making choices by benchmarking our life on social media.
 Today, we are making choices to uphold the label: successful. Today, every decision is a considerable opportunity cost. The options are not simply A or B, the options are many and so are the costs. 

The freedom of choosing my school, my partner, my neighborhood, my job, my hobbies, my TV channels, my Internet provider, my profile pictures. Then the freedom of re-choosing my school, my partner, my neighborhood, my job, my hobbies, my TV channels, my Internet provider, my profile pictures. Then the freedom of giving up on my school, my partner, my neighborhood, my job, my hobbies, my TV channels, my Internet provider, my profile pictures.

All these freedoms created new generations of frustrated, regretful and somehow lost people.

What is the solution here I am not sure yet. But would not my life be easier to a certain degree if I would be exposed to less impulses, less charming paths, less information and mainly less options?

After all, it seems easier to pick A over B, than pick A over the whole ABCD.

And how did regret come to the picture? It is very simple. 
Aren’t we more regretful today thanks to the options of ABCD then those who only have A and B?




2 thoughts on “Cherry picking – are you good at choice-making?

  1. I have an active mind like you. I’ve just lost my girlfriend because she doesn’t ask herself any of the questions you address on your blog. Its a frustrating position to be in to have to wait for people around you to grow away from the environment they’re part of to be able to connect with them. I think part of the answer is that if you choose A and its not right you only missed out of B and can switch to B without trouble. The more options the more loss and the problem off choice is never behind you


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