I woke up moody today. No special reason, except for a bad dream, which kept chasing me even after I forced my eyes to open.
Don’t like waking up with bad feelings. Hours can pass without finding my balance back; or sometimes even a whole day if I don’t pay attention.
Had my usual USA morning treat: Starbucks’s bagel and my – nowadays – very decaf coffee. Sat by the window on Broadway and watched how people were so different in this early morning hour. Some running, already with their headset activated, some wore sunglasses to hide the morning dark pots, some were eased and smiley (yeah, evidently the tourists filled in this group).
I was just starring at them. Sometimes catching myself wondering about where he might run now, what she might do for living, whether she is also in love or just keeping herself busy. These kind of thoughts chased each other in me, in this early, moody morning.
Usually I make a plan for each day while on a trip; to make sure I make the most of it and even like this I am racing with the city’s endless opportunities. Or maybe just racing with myself… being so afraid to leave with regrets.
After my breakfast that cannot be said as healthy, I walked back to my temporary hotel that starts to feel like my home; except that at each entry I receive warm welcomes, smiles and new towels.
I sat down, looked out my window and since I am located on the 17th floor, instead of the hurry feet on the noise pedestrian street, I starred at the quiet skyscrapers’ confident stand towards the sky.
My mood just did not want to adapt to the city’s vibes, so I decided to be mature: closed my eyes and took some deep breath. Yogis would be proud of me…
Took a long, warm shower and decided firmly to have a fantastic day. The face looking back from the mirror did not feel too convinced about this statement but I went on and on until I found myself standing nicely dressed with a neat pony tailed hair hearing how the heavy hotel door shuts behind me.
I was back on the streets of this million-faced city that is so dear to my heart. At this very same moment a guy passed me with a bicycle yelling at me on a friendly tone: ‘ You one of a sexy lady, hope you know it’. Well, not the most appropriate way of girl chasing, yet, I would be lying if I don’t admit: It did boost my mood and womanity to a healthier level.
Assertively walking the streets of NYC I decided to take the subway in a hope of obtaining some street art impressions from Dumbo area but while sitting on the deserted metro my heart started to whisper something else. My boyfriend was an invited presenter on the currently running expo at Javits Center and though he told me to go enjoy my new adventures, I felt I should not be on the subway pounding towards Brooklyn but I needed to be somewhere else.
I took off and navigated myself confidently around the jungle-liked underground channels when my day plan re-calculation was disturbed by a flustering person asking me where this metro was heading to. I told without hesitation to ‘Downtown sir’, he was keen to know details, so I said ‘ it stops at 49th and 36th, for instance’, he insisted further: ‘The 36th is the Penn Station?’, I said ‘yes, sure’. Then he looked even more confused and admitted with a blush: ‘you know, I lived all my life in New York and using metro each day and I still don’t have a clue – are you from here as well?’ I said dreamingly ‘I wish, but no’. Finding out my European base, he started to laugh on the previous – now rather ridiculous – scene: me guiding him in his own city. He was an attorney as I learnt later, well, I hope he is more confident in that aspects of his life. Kidding. Yet, he set my mood higher (again).
A bit and a taxi hunting later I arrived to the place I needed to be. He was standing in front of me with his confident but warm smile and I could say he was happy. Just before entering the seminar hall a lady run over to us. Another flustering person. She just came to inform us that their chairman of the seminar disappeared so there is nobody to moderate it. I happen to be a person who does not think too much, so a few minutes later I was talking in front of a bunch of businessman at New York’s Javits Center; and having seated after their heartwarming claps , my mood was flying already. I started to feel that the person looking back at me so doubtfully this morning is slowly melting away all the swings of moods and not only finds balance, but finds its way up, up, up.
I took some nice photo shoots during the seminar to catch his great moments, and then later captured further moments by the calming landscape from a bench – this time already by the Hudson with my second Starbucks’s decaffeinate treat.
Sitting by this floating river overlooking to New Jersey is something I want to keep in my pockets…for all the moody days.
Saying goodbye to the stage 7 years ago was one of the hardest decisions in my life. No regrets, but it was hard. Since then, I found no reasons to go to a studio and make my joints, muscles and soul follow the rhythm again. Until today’s afternoon: when I decided not only to make the rest of my day fantastic; but also to push further and step out of my comfort zone. Big time!
I decided to dance again! And for that purpose I did not just go to a studio by the corner but I visited the Broadway Dance Center. The studio, about which as a dancer kid, I could just dream of in my rarest dreams.
I put the leotard on that was passively lying in my wardrobe for the last 7 years without being touched once. It still fitted (surprise). Though a different body waved back to me from the long time not seen wall-long, provoking mirrors, I felt good in my body…I felt good in my red leotard.
I went to a Jazz class on Broadway. My heart was beating and I was keener on not to faint by the excitement than to be able to make one movement properly.
But you know what?! I am still the most proud not for my ad hoc professional public speaking activity or for my revitalized dance skills; but for the ability to take a leap of faith in this day even when my mood was helplessly following the pieces of a bad night dream.
We all can change a day in seconds. It is all up to us. I know and You know as well. Just take some deep breath…. and get dressed.
I can’t wait to see what tomorrow brings. Will it be an other fantastic day or… ?
Whatever it brings, I realized I just love being me with all my moods and sudden decisions. I love challenging and learning from myself each and everyday…. 🙂
And then suddenly I saw: