Morning came earlier today and before I even realized I was playing catch me if you can with the sea. My sport shoes-covered feet against the endless line of waves. My restlessness against the angry sea. Both of us with our own state of mind that morning.
The Sun burning my skin, forcing each cell to sweat. The humid air and salt combination works as a harsh doctor on my lungs. The sand deepens by each step allowing me to leave my footprints in it, while encouraging me to give more force for the next step.
My innocent fight against the elements with half working brain lasted for 30 min when I collapsed with flushing face and energized-dead body on the warm sand. Listening how my heartbeat starts a conversation with the steady earth, a conversation understood by none except those two. A few minutes later nature’s triumph over my morning stiffness seemed to lessen and by the end of my yoga sequence we, – meaning the sun, sea, earth, air, and me – eased on each other a bit. The Sun did not burn anymore but rather warmed my heart to its last beat and slowly melted out all the negative feelings. The sea got calmer and whispered peace into my ears. The earth became softer and delicate massaging my body parts as they met along the rhythm of my Sun salutation yoga flow. And the air made sure that each breath feels as if somebody would caress my inner channels.
Shortly after these friendly fusions, I found myself walking into the warm, salty water – though this is my 7th time in Israel, never before I could swim in the sea since I came in colder months. Therefore, it was a special meeting. He dragged my ankles and did not allow me to step out from its hold for minutes. Waves in and out pushing my body effortlessly and I let myself answer to each move. I gave up controlling; the sea was my dance partner and I let him lead.
It was the perfect morning, I felt in Heaven. It lasted for an hour, but an hour in heaven worth a living.
Arriving home I immediately switched on the news to check if I have missed out any sirens during the night because I did not want to hear or if suddenly this whole just ended as a nightmare would. News on, breakfast on the terrace and then ready to work. I finalized my latest article that is due tomorrow. All so smooth, all so perfect.
Meanwhile, my favorite radio channel warned azaka be Ashkelon every now and then. So if you have ever wondered how it might live in a country that is under constant attack, I have an exercise for you. Turn on the radio channel galgalatz (this is what I listen to) and each time you hear: azaka be… run to an other room, or hide under your bed. Wait 10 minutes. Then continue what you did. As the evening comes, do not switch off but put louder not to miss any possible missiles over your head. Do this mental exercises for 1-2 days, and by the end of the day, when you have run back and forth 123 (!!!) times a day, maybe then you will question yourself, how can one live like this, somebody should do something.
But life goes on. Missiles being shot and an then the bummmm. News checking, locating how close-far it was from you. And then life goes on. It must go on.
By the time I finished my article lunchtime came and it is far from me to bore you with each bite I take but there is this place in Netanya that I just need to tell you about. It is exactly a place that I would avoid from far in any other country, but not in Israel. A small place surrounded by shops that nobody knows what they sell in but surely are the local meeting point of elderly, tanned men, who play shesh-besh (backgammon) for 5 shekels all day long. The city’s best shawarma place is nestled among these no-name spots in a street off the tourists beat. The owner welcomes us in the so typical Israeli style and for each Hebrew word I try to formulate he smiles at me as a compliment. And in the end: I get my rich shawarma and we were both satisfied.
The afternoon could have been lovely as well, but I am human and I have still a lot to learn. I had all the ingredients to smile from sunrise to sunset; yet I allowed a person so far from me touch my day. I was too weak to resist. I was hurt, disappointed and somewhat upset but not even on her and her unrealistic acting but rather on myself to allow this to happen.
But I am learning with each day, with each situation, with each hurt. And one day I will be able to stop the feelings before they would start take over my day…
Around 8pm, when the sun starts its way towards to other side of the globe, I went to Poleg Beach, a rather commercial beach part of Netanya that has a café-resto (Bamboo Village) place just like Herzliya.
For an hour heaven came back, sitting with my other half, eating our hummus-pita combo and watching how the different colours dominate the usually clear blue sky. When we ask our deepest question as to what is the meaning of life? Maybe these moments are the answers…
It seems dark makes the dark souls braver: they wake up when we are about to sleep. Conversations cut, smiles ease, breathes are hold.
Bumm…somewhere in the near-far again.
‘Do not worry, its OK’ – said my Israeli family member.
Whether he said it only to calm me down, or he said it because he is so used to it that he really lacks any worries? I will never really know.
But life goes on; and once the city got quitter, and the stars got wild awake above us, sometime then, I put my head on my pillow…