It seems I got a VIP ticket to heaven. Starting my second day with the sun, sea, sand, air nature set mingled with the run, yoga, swim, meditate set just cannot lead me to any other worlds than heaven.
I wish I could keep my ticket and I would get a free entry to this for life.
Yet, sitting here now, watching the sun going down above the sea, feeling the tropical-like wind on my face makes me realize: I am living my dream life.
Even if only for two weeks every now and then, I got it. I do what I love: I write for living. I am where I love to be: I am in Israel. I have a temporary home that I dream of: overlooking the sea. I have a person beside me, who holds my hand like nobody ever.
But I am afraid to sha
re with you my happiness. Even if it lasts for days only. I am afraid you are going to be jealous of me. And I do not want you to be. The other day one of a friend told me: she made some distance between us because she got a bit jealous. I cried after for an afternoon. Jealous? She? Who knows all the downs in my life? Who knows all what I went through during the last 2 years or so? She jealous? I was lost…
I am a frank person. I do not pretend. If people ask me how I feel I tell the truth. Sometimes even to people, who do not even know me. I just can’t say I am good, when I want to cry, but I also cannot say soso when I am so happy that I could reach the sky.
I wrote about my challenges openly, but this time I need(ed) to write about my happiness.
Sitting on the beach today I was looking all these people, who live here. I wanted to ask them if they still appreciate heaven?
But then something else triggered my mind also.
Three huge bummms created an automatic knot in my stomach while observing the ‘peace’ around me and that fact that nobody around me even blinked or reacted for the noises.
I fully admit, I do not live here and being this close to a zone, where people fight and dye is something absolutely surrealistic for me. Yet, can this make such a huge difference?
Are these guys do not blink because…
- they get used to it? (can you?)
- they are were trained in the army, so they are prepared what to do? (can you be?)
- they are trusting their Iron Dome system this much that do not even ‘bother’? (can you?)
- they control their feelings to keep strong and be able to carry on with life? (can you?)
These were the arising questions in me, while watching this proud nation in a beautiful surrounding; everybody doing his on task, some cleaning the gardens, some serving food, some playing with grandchildren, some working out, some reading, some laughing, some walking a dog, some listening a Walkman from 1980.
Life is business as a usual, yet so unusual.
Bummmm….you hear the obtuse noise and you feel how the earth shakes a little.
I was alone but now that I write these thoughts I need to admit: this time I did not pale, I did not get that scared as two days ago. How is this possible?
There was a blogger the other day, who said something like that the fear of the Israeli people cannot be that much as the Palestinian because of the different living standard. He got cold shower from all angles that indirectly answer my previous questions: Israeli people are afraid, you cannot get used to this, but they are trained (if I can say so) and trusting and a proud nation standing together. They cannot allow to break down after each missiles. There are cities (e.g. Ashdod or Askelon) where you not ‘just’ hear the bum from near-far, but you see how it is intercepted above you and how the parts are falling into your garden. Daily 50-60-100 (!!!) of them. Can you really live like this? Wondering ‘what if’ this time it hits us? What if this time it is bigger, something we are not prepared for?
Israeli people are lucky because of their amazing Iron Dome (thanks to their investment, and brains by the way); but how much can you trust a machine? Are they bombing daily 120-200 rockets to play on the rule of the large numbers?
Can you really say that this is OK? And just because kids die on the other side it is OK that Israeli kids are learning how to run to the shelter as soon as they start walking? Do you really say it is OK?
My heart breaks when a child dies, or anybody for that matter. But just because one side has not developed a system to protect itself (rather invested in systems to destroy the others, raise their children with hatreds instead of acceptance) do you need to adapt? Just because in country A they cannot cure a sickness country B should stop curing also?
I am not an expert. I most probably miss a lot of domino pieces from this complex issue; but everybody has the right to leave without safe rooms.
Do you remember my friend Y.? Yes, my friend, who was in the army. He was released a few days ago and tonight we met.
I went out in Tel Aviv Dizengoff area with three Israeli men; besides the proud feeling of knowing them, these three guys are such full of heart, full of love, full of life that melts my heart. I have never met so many full-hearted people in such a small area, than here, in Israel.
Tel Aviv by night is a little Manhattan. Nobody sleeps and until sunrise bars, cafes are open; at 10 pm you can find yourself in an underground room in the middle of a birthday party, dance until 12 then walk along the streets and sit in a quiet patio and have some great food and great talk with your friends.
Though, the aim was to enjoy the summer night out together, Y. time in the army inevitably came up. Not only because he admitted that since he was out the only thing he wanted is sleep, sleep, sleep but also because I am too curious.
I am too curios because I need to hear, I need to see and I need to understand more in order to explain more. Explain to people, who have no other idea than the mainstream media. Who leave me comment like ‘it’s really sad Nothing on this Earth could ever justify killing 2000 civilians! That’s genocide, no matter who’s to blame.’ – as the latest example.
Not even knowing that those people are rather the victims of their own government than Israel.
Seeing Y. and seeing my other friends in Israel everything comes to my mind but cruelty. Seeing the picture of Hamas and those posing with their guns, nothing else comes to my mind than cruelty.
If I could I would invite all of nasty commenters to take a visit here and talk with people: Israeli, Arab and Palestinian alike…maybe then, they would get some sort of sense…. unless it is too late, since media managed to brainwash them on this matter.
And yes nothing justifies the death of 2,000 people but to point fingers automatically without thinking or the attempt of understanding is just as bad; and using double standard is even worse if not actually dangerous. Look at the ISIS and what is happening, where are all the people protesting on the street? Where are your stand ups? Where are your judgments? Until there is no scandal around these matters in every city, until then, I need to believe that the bottom line is not about Gaza vs. Israel, but pure anti-Semitism.
Meanwhile in the news: Israel targeted and killed three Hamas leaders; Hamas prepares to answer. Hamas warned international airlines not to fly to Israel as of today 6 am. Israel called in 10.000 reservists.